If in one year I said you could completely change your life, only for the better, would you believe me? I did. A short 12 months ago I made a commitment to myself. I said enough is enough. I knew I needed to make myself and my health a priority. I promised myself I wouldn't let my body hold me back from living anymore, because it did, in so many ways.
I had known that feeling of hating mirrors and thinking I was walking around in the wrong body for too long. Most of my life, actually. All the way back to being the chubby girl on the school bus that all the kids picked on and stuck gum in my hair. To my college days where when I got stressed, I ate - at 2am or 4am sometimes. And I would wonder why my jeans didn't fit anymore. Leading up to the start of 2012 where I was happy in life, but unhappy with what had happened to my health.
Last March I was done, with all of it. I was done feeling bad about myself. I was done with my successes in all other areas of life not be reflected by my physical appearance. In March last year, I somehow got the courage to step on a scale - in front of someone - and promised that was my starting point - I swore I would never see that weight again. NEVER. With friends an fellow competitors of DDC's first ever 'Slim it to Win It' competition, I started caring about myself again. I started trying new exercises which within weeks went from painstakingly awful to relatively enjoyable. I started caring about food as a fuel, and not as an emotional support. After four months of Slim it to Win It, I was down 28 lbs and 5th overall in the competition. But I knew that was just the beginning. I set a goal of 110 lbs to lose and I had barely made a dent. But it was something, it was SOMETHING. And as the weeks kept going by, there were more successes - but not just on the scale. My athletic ability was improving. I would seek out new things that I'd always said I would 'try one day when I was in better shape'.
The weight kept coming off, and I made new commitments - eliminating all chemicals from our house and in my beauty products (long post to come on this one). We (my love & I) started growing our own food last summer. Recently we started researching local meat options, caring about what - exactly - was in our food, where it came from and how it had made the journey to us.
This week, appropriately, I hit the 70lb mark. I have lost s-e-v-e-n-t-y pounds in a year. Yesterday when I was running on the treadmill, I celebrated that I didn't even sweat for the first mile. I felt light on my feet and I even enjoyed the last two miles. I made fitness not a chore but something I look forward too everyday. Something I miss when I've gone a day without it. I am the same person I was a year ago but I feel younger than I was when I was in my teens. I have made so many steps to live a long, healthy life. Although I'm still 40ish pounds away from my goal, I love myself - for the first time in a very long time, or maybe ever. I appreciate all the hard work to get me here.
If I think about everything I've done in the last year to get where I am now, was it all enjoyable? No, absolutely not. The first time I tried spinning, I thought I was going to break the bike. When I set a goal of running a 5k by the end of 2012, without being able to run a mile non-stop it was scary. But now I know that the best workouts are the ones that push you to your breaking point. The ones that you must complete and overcome mentally because sometimes you can't physically. And there were days that I had to talk myself in to doing a work out because I was so sore from the previous days'. But I did it, everytime. I knew the end result (which I've almost made it to) was going to be worth it. Every step I took was worth it.
So really, I guess I'm in the 'home stretch' now. And how wonderful that March 1st starts the second annual 'Slim it to Win It' competition. If I really am focused over the next four months, I can meet my 110lb weight loss goal. That is incredible. I'm ready. Ready to glide in to my 30's in the best shape of my life. Ready to be my best self. Ready to be, look and feel that way I have always wanted to. I'm almost there. I started at the heaviest I've ever been but used it as a starting point. I have made this a lifestyle, and one I am proud of living. Chapter 2 (of my life) is proving to be more incredible than I ever thought it could be, in so many ways.